The Chain

So the hunting wasn’t very good this weekend. Dad is 73 with bum knees and a bad shoulder. He sat in a camo folding chair overlooking a clearing and I bird-dogged the cedar swamp to try and kick something out to him. At one point he saw a deer just out of range and tried to lift his gun to look at it through the scope. His shoulder locked up and he couldn’t bring the gun up far enough. Mercifully, the deer vanished back into the woods.

While playing bird dog, I came across a backwater on the Kunjamuk and heard a splash. Thought it was one of the resident muskrats, but a sleek furry creature came to the surface only ten feet away from me. A twin popped up seconds later; the first otters I’ve seen in the wild. They seemed pretty bold. Perhaps because they know there’s nothing on this planet deft enough to catch them. It was simply awesome to witness their graceful play. They were very curious about me and came close enough to even make me a little nervous (have seen them in captivity biting the heads off fish with their sharp, canine-like teeth). Sort of noticed that their nostrils are like a seal’s and they can close them when they submerge. On surfacing they'd blow out with a noise that reminded me of dolphin blowing water out its blowhole. I was so taken with their antics that I never once thought to take my pack off and look for my camera.

Whenever I'm hunting I inevitably think of my brothers. There’s something about the quiet of the woods that draws memories to the surface. I know it’s the same for Dad because when I came out into the clearing he quickly turned away instead of toward me. I took my time walking over while he composed himself. He told me about the the deer and his bum shoulder and suggested we grab lunch and maybe catch some football on the tube.

Back home he was asleep in the lounge chair before the game started. I went out to my car and took a trip to the hill. 

They're about 20 feet apart. There’s a plot between them that belongs to another family. It’s not used yet, but when occupied it will be awkward. I found that if I stood back far enough I could see them both at once. I told about the otters and gave them trouble about not being there. I think they listened to me about as well as they did in life.

The ground had sunk in where they put Scott’s ashes. I went back to the house and filled a bucket with dirt and some sod from a corner of Dad’s lawn. As I worked to make the repairs I recalled how often Scott and I had worked side-by-side. As kids there were countless cords of wood to split and, being the two oldest we did the lion’s share. We'd usually make a competition out of it, but he could always work harder than me so this pained me quite a bit. As usual, Paul was nearby and getting out of work again. I think he was smarter than the both of us.

With the repairs finished I stepped back again for another talk. I told them how funny, cool and brave I always thought they were. I also told them how unlikely and stupid it was that I'd be the only one still standing here. If anything, I should have been the first to go. Finally, I told them that I missed them a lot, but hoped I wouldn’t see them for a good long time. Back at the car it took about ten minutes before I could drive back to the house.

Elaine talked me into staying for supper. Deep fried perch fillets were better than I remembered. The diet went out the window and I dug in like I hadn’t eaten in days. After dinner I called my sister and we talked for a long time. We talked about my Mom and both agreed that all the signs indicate she’s using again. We also agreed that we’re both just too damn tired to try and help her again.

I drove home in the dark keeping my eyes open for the deer I didn’t see during the day. Despite how well they avoid me each hunting trip, they always seem to want to run in front of my car on the way home. Tried to find a good song on the radio to make me fell better, but the 'daks are pretty remote and all I got was static.